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I hate myself.

Not permanently and not often, but in this little, isolated moment I truly cannot stand myself. It’s a rare thing for me, this self-hatred. In fact, I only ever experience it in relationship to my “pet sin” (you know, that one sin you cringe at when telling the priest because you confess it EVERY TIME and you just want to be done with that stupid sin already??) Yep. That one. That’s the only time I hate myself, when I fail AGAIN. When I’m too weak, and I know it’s because I haven’t trained hard enough to be strong in the face of temptation, or fast enough to flee it. I know I will finish this evening, go to bed, wake up in the morning, go to work and continue to live my life… but in this little minute, and in every moment that I think of it until I get to Reconciliation, I will be ill at ease with myself. I can’t help being very rumpled up in my mind, and it’s very uncomfortable. I will try to follow Francis de Sales and not let my own weakness trouble me too much. I don’t suppose there is much point in fretting. I do detest my sins, and I do intend to reconcile myself with God as soon as possible. But this despondency is so… ugh! Sorry, Tumblr… I just had to get that out. 

I’ll just keep breathing. It’ll all be okay if I breathe… or at least, more okay than if I stopped breathing… I will be okay. And if I keep being okay, one day I’ll be better than okay. 

confectionerybliss:

I finally received all of my items for the giveaway. Here is what I’m giving away:

  • A 12 piece cupcake decorating kit
  • A cake and cupcake decorating book from Betty Crocker
  • Measuring cups
  • Measuring spoons
  • 3 ramekins
  • Spatula
  • Egg Separator
  • Ateco Pastry Brush 

RULES FOR ENTERING MY GIVEAWAY:

  1. You do not have to be following our to enter. If you feel so inclined, you may check out our blog and see if it’s something you would like to follow. 
  2. You can only reblog this post once. I know how annoying it can be to have someone keep posting numerous posts of the same giveaway. I will check.
  3. You can also like this post as another entry.
  4. The giveaway is only for participants who are 18 and over and who also live in the US. Sorry to those of you who don’t meet the requirements. I am just making sure I am following the rules here.
  5. You have until the Sunday, the 12th to enter.
  6. Winner will be chosen the day after using random.org. You have until 48 hours to respond back to the ask. Make sure your ask box is open or else I will find another winner.

I, Angela, am hosting the giveaway. I wish you all the best of luck. I will make sure I keep track of everyone who reblogs/likes the post. Thank you all for following.

rocksfalling:

I bet your heart can fall asleep sometimes. Just like your arm or foot or anything, really. If it stays under pressure for more than it cares for, even if the pressure is from someone you really care about, it just falls asleep. And you’re breathless and irrational because you’re trying to make sense of everything. So you do whatever it takes to get that normal, alive feeling back. But I think you can end up hurting a lot of people in that process.

(Source: rising-stone)

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